Finance Maestra Gifts

Pricelessly Boring

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Profit

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"What's a debenture?"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

Stock market investment advice

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'Need I tell you the name of the game?'

'Now this is my kind of green!'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

U.S. Credit Rating

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

Wealth Juggler.

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'