Finance Foodie Gifts

'That's $27.50, including the fuel surcharge, carbon tax, noise nuisance and environmental impact fee.'

'You say that you were a chef before retraining as an accountant?... That's good, we could use a bookkeeper who can cook.'

'Merrill Lunch: Invest in our blue-chip soups and sandwiches.'

'Oh yes, the market may fall, but trust me, we always land on our feet.'

Bank'n Burger - "I see there's been another merger."

Wall Street vendors.

Hot dog cart on Wall Street has sign showing the bid and ask prices for a hot dog.

"Umm, smell that? That's the annual accountant's Cooking the Books Cook-Off."

Credit Brunch.

New Portfolio Allocation.

'But, Pop ... I thought bears hibernated in the winter.'

Bank Roll

'Our credit card company is offering rewards points for spending more than we earn.'

'Looking for organic growth? -- check out what's growing in the potato salad.'

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

'Your portfolio did well. Care for an after-beat-the-market mint?'

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

Investment Club Sandwich.

Accountant Reading 'The Joy of Cooking.'

I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p.

"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Even the waiters here are organic."

What the Doctor Ordered

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.