Finance And Economics Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"We just ate your pension!"

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Will work for ETFs

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

"At least we're consistent ... "

Out of control

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

'I'd recommend against investing in hog futures - what sort of future could a hog have?'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

General Motors.

"Any chance of a couple of crumbs?"