Filmmaker Dreamer Gifts

'My mother wanted me to be a movie star but then I fell for your Grandfather's manly physique.'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

Reese Witherspoon

Canadian film production

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

"Do you ever feel like you were meant for something else?"

"Which part are you reading for?"

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

Marilyn's Rushmore

Beat Fatigue - Stay in Bed.

Zorro as a child.

George Clooney Machine

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'