Film Industry Commentary T-Shirts

"When I grow up, I don't want to be a movie star."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Bloody hell!"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"I'm the bad guy..."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

Tom Hanks

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

100 best beheadings

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

Hollywood Breakup

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

True Story Movie

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Hollywood or bust!

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Welcome to Hollywood

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

Restraining orders from the stars.

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'