Film Industry Commentary T-Shirts

"When I grow up, I don't want to be a movie star."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Bloody hell!"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"I'm the bad guy..."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

100 best beheadings

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Tom Hanks

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

Talent, pluck, or plain dumb luck?

Hollywood Breakup

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Hollywood or bust!

Lord of the Rings IV.

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

True Story Movie

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

Welcome to Hollywood

The Last Jedi dvd is going to have fourteen deleted scenes! Horrible mistake. The confident creator releases his work to the world and says This is it. This is what I want to show you. He doesn't then show you all the stuff he might have put in the story. Did Prince release the deleted stanza from Little Red Corvette where he also compared her to a Ford Pinto? Wait ... Prince compared a sexy lady to a Ford Pinto? Who knows? That's my point. Aren't you glad you don't know what?

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

When stars marry: 'Why did you ask him first? Does he have top billing?'

Melanie Griffith

Restraining orders from the stars.

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

Jennifer Lawrence

"He's the exception: a fly on the wall who made it big in blockbuster movies."