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I made Guacamole.

Santa Claus's Mail

Margarita

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

The Amazing Mr Sausage

'Well, this is definitely the last time I shake a bottle of Champagne before opening it.'

'My dress is thirteen years old today!'

Pinata good bags.

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

"As your CPA, I would recommend you count the number of eggs before you hide them."

Biodegradable helium balloons.

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

'You add the girl after baking.'

Because of bad weather and lots of people moving slowly on the path, it took forever to get here! Everybody was picking up a pumpkin on Wednesday. There was a huge crowd and long lines at the pumpkin patch. My brother and I can't be seated together today. We'd argue and disagree about who should run the village council. After this huge meal nobody's gonna want to stick around and clean up this mess! If they're still having this celebration centuries from now, I'm sure they'll have worked i

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

Surprise!! Cat's birthday.

Florist.

"Perhaps we should have postponed our downsizing operation until after the Xmas party."

Santa School.

'You're laying down that bottle for when Rich graduates from college? Don't you ever want to drink it?'

"Wow, the literary life is exhausting! Just when I finish 'What I Did On My Summer Vacation,' I need to begin my 'What I Want For Christmas' list!"

"Where does it say anything about an age limit?"

Two grooms and a cat on a wedding cake.

Happy birthday! Your card is in here somewhere. Living with a mail carrier.

Devil-may-care loans.

'I don't think he'll be having a party next year - I heard his mother scream 'Never again'.'

"Good Christmas?"