Fetch Master T-Shirts

Stick man throws arm for dog

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

"Look , Malcolm, I get it that you're ambitious. But can't you put that damn thing down just for a minute?"

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

InOutYada Yada.

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

Dogs Bring Slippers.

The Masters.

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

'Welcome aboard, Peterson.'

'That's Thompson. Best goalie we've ever had.'

'My son is studying communications in college. He never writes, calls, texts, or emails his parents.'

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

Printing Room

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'A good idea, Fletcher? So was your last one. Which, I recall, brought us to the brink of bankruptcy!'

"Of course I know what the rearview mirror is for...to check at any moment if my hair still looks ok."

"For goodness sakes, Harold. Stop preening!"

'No Jimmy! You can't cite Wikipedia as the main source for your assignment!'

Great coaching is about building constructive relationships....

'Er, Jane, if my wife's kidnappers ring I'm in a meeting.'

"Hey Mundo, I'm collecting videotape for American's Dumbest Videos! Show me something stupid!"

Out Of My Way, Stupid!

"Denise, for this afternoon's meeting, get some facts and place them at my fingertips."

'I don't like this predictive text.'

Wanna hang later? Yep. You meatheads are standing side-by-side texting! Why not just talk to each other?! Because: Your eyeballs are burned away from staring at your screens and you can't see actual reality!!!! I hear strange rhetorical noises. Put on your iPod LOUD and they'll go away.

"And to Gloria Beal, the award for most google and bing citations..."

Olde Time Dance Society

Man looking in mirror at the barber's.

"Larry couldn't be here today, but representing him is the scene from 'The Shawshank Redemption' that he quotes from every time."

No sound bite, please help.

"The Earthling seems to be waiting for us to do something with the gift he has given us."