Fetal Focus Enthusiast Pillows

"I don't understand. Everyone knows I'm here yet no-one calls in to say hello."

Where your mind & battle are los

A midwife holding a baby

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

"They look so young and helpless."

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Maternity Ward

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Babble. Pbl. Babama. Bbb. Brb. Bod.

Uterus: One size fits all.

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

It's to stop you getting side-tracked.

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

Giving Birth

Maternity Hospital