Festive Ironist Pillows

Mistletoe Farm

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"I don't believe in you!"

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Christmas Presents.

'I hate all holidays!'

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Bad gifts

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'Oh, Christ.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

'Well, hello, Mr. Christmas!'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

C.P.A.

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring...except Bert who had a weak bladder!

"Well, if you expect me to be good, you'll have to bring me something better than the rubbish I got last year!"

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"So Mr. Claus, there is a Virginia!"