Festive Folks T-Shirts

'Uh oh! Santa brought the kids a pet cat!'

Santa Claus and Global Warming

It's not easy being the Easter Bunny.

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Piranhaclaus

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Yo ho ho!

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'And that,and that,and that...'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

The other days of the year...

A Christmas tree self portrait

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

Merry Kissmas

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"And you can REALLY make 345,000 deliveries in ONE day!"

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

Elf of the Month

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"