Festive Film Aficionado T-Shirts

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

'You'll be visited by the ghosts of TV Christmas specials.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Kritik's Korner

Canadian film production

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

Moby Dick

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Movies vs. Films

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

Filming Christmas

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

Film Star Robert de Niro

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Jim Carrey,

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"I'm just not in an Australian-movie mood, O.K.?"

Lord of the Rings IV.

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

"Once again, the epicenter seems to be Christian Slater."

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

Welcome to Hollywood

Cluck Norris in...LAYED in ACTION!

Orson Welles

"Every good scene in that move was in the coming attractions...why did we even bother to come watch it?"

"Mooove!"

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom