Festive Fashion Critic Gifts

'Boy, you look like you were poured into that suit!'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

Prosecco

"That shirt is so last year."

Bad gifts

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"Shouldn't have, you really."

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Non-Uniform Day Today.

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Old fashioned Christmas shopping

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

Easter Egg

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

Oi to the world!

"Times are challenging so all our staff have to multitask."

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.

"Maybe this year..."

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

Snowman Tattoo

Hip hop Santa.

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."