Festive Eating Pillows

'Great. Looks like I'll be packing on more weight.'

Large man uses 'Fat Nav' to lead him to large Christmas pudding.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel your Thanksgiving."

Night of the Latkes

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Turkey Autopsy

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Panettone

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Happy St Pancakes Day

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."