Festive Cook Mugs

Turkey Autopsy

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" "No madam, they're dead."

Making Christmas Pudding.

Night of the Latkes

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Panettone

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

Happy St Pancakes Day

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.