Feline Strategist Mugs

"Frankly, I think it's time we take a long hard look at cat futures."

Mouse CCTV.

"You stick with learning new tricks...I'm going for world domination."

Why cats will never rule the world: 'First, we'll assume high level government positions! Then we'll enforce harsh taxing measures! ...But first let's take a nap...sun spot feels...so good.'

"I'm too lazy to weave through my owner's legs, so I've set up a trip-wire."

"When throwing up a hairball, placement is very important."

"That should keep him off our backs for a while."

"He binge watches TED talks about getting the upper hand with cats."

Cat in a tank...

"Oh no, the dead mouse on the threshold is not an offering! It's retaliation for my dinner being served late the night before..."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

PET THEORIES

'Hard to follow...'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Works every time."

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

Saving for Retirement.

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

'You should try giving yourself a bath.'

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

"How do I get down?"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

"Son, the key to a happy marriage is listening, or at least purr and pretend you are."

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

"You must now empty the Kitty Litter of your mind."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

'Catch any good mice lately?'

"My one regret is not napping more."

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'