Feline Funny Bone Pillows

'I made it from scratch'.

No Mice

Velcro Paws.

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"Hair balls are a thing of the past since I switched to moist towelettes."

"Buttered side down! Happy days!

Snowprov

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

An early space launch attempt.

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Movers and shakers.

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

"Get names!"

Policeman to driver; 'You gotta be kidding. Your name is actually Anna Nicole Smith?'

"If at first you don't succeed, give up skydiving."

"Sadly, we're seeing more and more of this as we encroach on their natural habitat."

Hang Time Fido

'They must be trash fish!'