Feeding Philosophy Buff T-Shirts

No bottle feeding.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

'So this is goodbye then!'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"First you make a roux."

The Politics of Food.

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'