Federal Prosecutor T-Shirts

Members of the city and state police, the federal prosecutor's office and an undercover agent pose behind a recently-seized, uncut ounce of prevention (street value: $500,000).

"I know nothing!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Old West Bounty Hunter.

'The highest court in the land.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.