Federal Prosecutor T-Shirts

Members of the city and state police, the federal prosecutor's office and an undercover agent pose behind a recently-seized, uncut ounce of prevention (street value: $500,000).

"I know nothing!"

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Old West Bounty Hunter.

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."