Federal Employee Pillows

U.S.Postal Service - Then and Now

"You know what to do!"

Myths & Legends

Food Line: Federal Workers

Leading The Charge

"You think you have it bad? I'm here all alone in the White House. . ."

"We do care about federal employees not getting paid during the government shutdown. We're giving them a GPS that let them find the nearest homeless shelter."

US Government Shutdown

Federal Worker Pay

"Public employee"

Interest rates

"Hey! Can't you take a joke? We were just kidding about ourselves a pay raise..."

Holiday for Government employees or not, all Billy cared about was that he didn't have to go to school...

Federal Employees Annual Easter Egg Hunt: 'This isn't fair - the CIA always wins!'

"Ordinarily, this information would be classified."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."