Feathered Fancy Gifts

Feather Implants.

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Bird Torture.

Birds of the Pacific Northwest: Belted Kingfisher

Man about dog parasailing: 'He's a water dog and a birder.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

Moustached gentleman

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Ma'am! Stop spoiling the birds!"

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

Ornithologist

"Well yes, technically, I've only had three kids of my own, but I've raised two cuckoo chicks as well..."

A classic example of Poultry in Motion.

'Please, Grandpa Turkey! Tell us about the Christmas massacre and the Thanksgiving bloodbath!'

'Pretend you don't notice him.'

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

A man with a bird perched on his finger.

"Like you, I'm a bit of a glutton, but I need to monitor my food intake otherwise I could be too heavy to fly..."

Canada Goose

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

Man trying to take pictures of wild birds at feeder.

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

Are you kiddin'? Those babies are all made right here on the premises.

"I know that birds of a feather should flock together, but I like hanging out with you guys..."

Old Woman Feeding Birds in their Nest.

"Get a life!"

'It's always the same design. I wish he'd get a more imaginative set of house plans.'