Feast Lover Gifts

"Well, it's either a hernia, or you've been cooked to a delectable, golden perfection."

Unfortunately, Tom isn't aware that he's being fattened up for Thanksgiving Dinner...

"Hit it. I'm hungry."

"When I eat out, I like to order something I would never make at home."

Once again the atheist gets the drumstick!

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

Cake

"I say we move on to dessert."

Earth Mother

"A ticket to the Munich Beerfest, please."

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

An August Bank-Holiday in the East End.

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

'Then it's approved. We move from the North Pole at once due to melting of the polar ice caps.'

Come To Church Today and Beat the Christmas Rush.

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

Early versions of the new year's eve ball drop proved less popular among revelers,

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"Separate checks, please."

'Someplace where we just eat, eat, eat!'

Seventh Birthday

'Noah, your arc ruse was a great success. This was the best feast ever.'