Fearsome Cuddler T-Shirts

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

Horror Stories.

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Scary stuff

'Next!'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

"I see so much love reflected back in his adorable little face."

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

'I can't bear to be without you.'

Sword Swallow is Bitten by a Mosquito.

"So we all love Cuddly Poo, but to cover ourselves, better run it by day care."

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

Hugs 50 cents

Ralph has lots of animal magnetism.

"We probably shouldn't cuddle."

"It's just happened again! I don't get it! Master is such a nice guy: why would the neighbours always decline his invitations?"

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

Financing Nemo

"I've always been a gnome body."

Veterinarian at a large animal clinic staring up at a huge beast.

Snakeboarding.

Leaning on a friend

"You know very well you're not supposed to beg at the table."

'This is a killer hole!'

Cat lights rocket strapped to a dog

Tapeworms Need Love Too

'Congratulations - you advance to the next round.'