Fearless Animal Whisperer Gifts

"It's a bit of a surprise. He has eaten people before, but only when he felt threatened. Your husband must have provoked him."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Police Feline Unit

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Licensed Therapist

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Foster failure"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"Quick, start the car!"

Barks in code.

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Raw food, after you leave for work.