Fearful Thinker Gifts

'My fear of heights ensure I never take the moral high ground.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Little help?"

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

"You dropped yer wallet."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."

"Pencil eraser."

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Clouds

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

"I'm not saying a horrible creature lives under your bed."

'I suspect the cow jumping over the moon is an illusion or swamp gas.'

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."