Fax Machine Whisperer Gifts

'File this, fax that, take a letter, answer the phone. I'm afraid of being typecast.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

'...and that is my philosophy.'

Computer help.

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Man and Machine snoozing

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

"Now all we need is a good script."

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"Love your feng shui!"

"I'm really great thanks. The boss loves my ideas, he says I'm ahead of my time!" "Hi John, how are you? Good meeting?"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"Tell the employees that from now I want them to do as I say, not as I do."

The Complete Cycle.

Duplass Brothers

'Wilson, I'll need you to make high pitched screeching noises until I get this modem working properly.'

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'