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'IT'S NOT YOU!'

Jack Gleeson

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

Dialogue

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"The best thing about our relationship is that we keep growing together."

Love Birds love just being together

Valentines Balloons

Waterfall of Disappointment

Whale Romance

You make me want to be a better bum.

A man and woman watch a couple kiss in the clouds.

Strangers. Friends. Lovers. Spouses.

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

Pile of books for sale with sign: Expired Fifteen-Minutes-of-Fame Books.

Pete never wanted the fame that came with being a national symbol...he just thought it was a good way to meet girls.

Cupid

Dreaming of Love

"You complete me, Barbara."

'I inherited therefore I am'

A man forming a heart symbol with his hands

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

Woman carrying a love heart

Couple in Grey

Dream man.

You are cordially invited...

Leaving America to chance, the USA being eaten by a die

Two men toasting