Fast Track Foodie Gifts

"I'm a big devotee of fasting."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You do like octopus?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

What the Doctor Ordered

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Fast food. Even faster food

La Table

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

View to the Future

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Pigeon Little