Fashion Improvement Seeker Mugs

"You might consider new socks as well."

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Leadership suits you

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Men's business romper.

"Thank god I bought my layers."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Cat Tie

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Keeping warm.

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Mrs Howell packs 200 changes of clothing for a 3-hour tour.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Pampered and poodled.

Scot to a Greek: 'Love your outfit.'

wattle covers

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Mister Pretty Shoes