Fashion-forward Financier T-Shirts

Got anything for the small investor?

A child runs an equity stand.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"Want to trade banks with me?"

No caption. (Adult pushes buttons at an ATM. Child pushes buttons at an "APBM" - and Automatic Piggy Bank Machine.)

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

'He's precocious.'

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Girl holding money.

'You're never going to win any race in those platform shoes.'

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

Haute C. E. O., Business Couture - Lean In.

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

"Apparently, the golf clothes and expensive golf clubs didn't help you play better."

'This isn't a diploma. It's a stimulus package!'

'I know we got the job, but trust me, ‘dress for success' always applies, even after the interview.'

Prosecco Drinker

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

"I want you to work late. Put on your overtime shoes."

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'