Fare Vigilante Gifts

Rail UnFare Rise

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Scarecrows guarding a field

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

Nun confronts mugger.

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

'Could we have a little chat when you're through here?'

'The opportunity to be fair and just is rewarding - but what I especially like is taking the law into my own hands.'

"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"

Ace Towing.

The Marks of Zorro

'I thought putting it up there would deter ordinary folk from using it.' (Disabled Parking Space).

Eyedropper_b&w

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

Don't feed the bears vegetables.

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

Traffic avenger

Cat's 'To Do' list.

What a hypochondriac --- He's always turning on his "check engine" light!

Zorro repairs his trousers.

'I'm moving your desk up here on the roof. That way you can keep an eye on my Cadillac in the parking lot.'

"I don't prey on the old, sick, or lame, I prey on the healthy who park in the handicapped spots."

"I feel a lot safer around here since your Grandad joined the Neighbourhood Watch!"

"That's it! Visiting time is over!"

A car being linched - By the time the law arrived the citizens had already dealt with public enemy no.1

"I can't wait till somebody forgets to dim his headlights!"

Human Cull: People who do a slow breast stroke in the fast swimming lane.

'Just calling to let you know that driving while talking on a cell phone is illegal in this state.'

Digby's a former airline pilot--- he always looks three ways before crossing.