Fantasy Warrior Pillows

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

Polar Bear ice fishing through igloo.

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

Nerd tryouts.

The Mouse King appears in the Nutcracker

Time Machine Collision

"Hugh fans!"

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Second lifeReal life.

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

The Tiger Tank that came to Safari Tea.

Playground Pipe Dreams

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

Valentine Vaccines

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

Sleeping Beauty.

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

Witch dice.

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

If you think that's good, you should see the Pork Sabre!

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

Dropping Bombs and Hearts

'You know how you've always wanted to go on a balloon safari..?'