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"Goodbye, Cruikshank. We leave you to contemplate the wisdom of messing with big dog!"

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

'Natalie, would you please bring me the buzzword du jour?'

Pizza time.

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

Group of people.

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

'You've been with the company for 20 years Harvey, you make an excellent wage, get 4 weeks paid vacation... I'm going to have to let you go.'

...your sales are rather anemic

If there is a postive response, say it was my idea

"It's the new man - he wants to know what the company retirement plan is."

'Its simple: we're the nanotechnology department.'

'Other than the fact that you were a trustee at the county jail, do you have any other character references?'

Acme Graph Company.

"Come out, Snivers, it's a decent enough redundancy package."

"The boss went undercover and got fired the very first day!"

'Ah, Reeves - it's lonely on top!'

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

"Of course I'm proud to work here... Why do you ask?

"I started in the Lab and worked my way up."

'It's not that I don't appreciate the work you do for us, it's just that nobody does.'

"You are adequately qualified, Mr. Harris, but I'm afraid I'll be hiring somebody else as I don't think I can stand looking at your stupid little face all day long."

Lemon Flavored Water (Instead of Raises)

Personnel,' Possible candidates'-'That'll be the day'.

"No, son, there's no severance package."

'Fortunately, Henderson's no fool - He's a damn'd fool.'

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

"I know you need some certainty in your job, so you're fired."

"Worn out by preparing his presentation? Actually, this is his presentation."

'Your falback position, Petersen, is out the door.'

'Benson, I want this piece of popcorn to be in our LA office by morning...for no reason at all!'

I'm the vice president of something or other...

Maybe you'd get more work done if you uninstalled that fish tank screensaver.'

Decision makers: 'Out for...maybe 2 hours, who knows?'