Fans Of The Flying Mccoys T-Shirts

'Okay, so I'm not paranoid. Everyone is out to get me!'

"Recalculating route..."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

Halo Frisbee.

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

Homing pigeons in therapy.

Helicopter

'He has really taken to the training.'

'Funny thing is, in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, this is actually happening!'

'Oh great, we teach him to fly and now he tries to show us up!'

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

Nut Bomber

'Your you is unzipped.'

"Great first glide son! Oh, by the way, remind me to teach you how to land tomorrow..."

'Does N.A.S.A. give frequent flyer miles?'

"Great - the drone can deliver fridges! Come on now, Petersen! It's time for the piano test!"

Cricket widow's revenge

Elite-Premium Passengers

Flying 101: Keep landings equal to take offs.

'Oh no! I forgot my driving glasses! What! You too? Now what are we going to do?'

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

Frequent Flier Tom Walstrom, on his way to Seattle, passes his luggage on it's way to L.A.

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"This is your captain speaking. I'm delighted to announce that all you frequent flyers members on board today will earn five credits at the college of your choice."

'I forgot to tell you that when George went through his armchair pilot phase he installed ejection seats.'

'I'm a frequent flier, so it's really quite cheap.'

Customer to airline clerk: 'If I drop leaflets out the plane window, do I get frequent flyer miles?'

'Wait a minute! I thought you guys couldn't fly!'

'Joe, could I have your frequent flier points?'

Around the World By Balloon.

George has an uplifting experience.