Fans Of Rebellious Humor Pillows

Man enters store forbidding hoods, caps, smoking and dogs.

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Raised by Dogs

'Hon, I'm home!'

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Make your own bottled water.

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

"Sorry, Jeff. This just isn't working as I'd hoped."

Privatization and Deregulation are the gas in the engine of the economy.

Magnet at scrapyard

The Hypnotato,

Cow Pat Planning

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

"The last thing I expected was to find a giant squirrel from outer space raking our leaves. Not that I'm complaining."

"Tell me again why we couldn't get an Easter bunny."

Ice fisherman using plunger to catch fish

"Why did we buy such huge furniture?"

"I seriously doubt that's going to count."

"I told you not to order the Zamboni."

"I took your advice."

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

'Say, aren't you the building inspector who gave us such a hard time when we were building a house last year?'

The one thing that drives elephants wild is sickeningly sweet elevator music.

Which of you is the gent who thinks he's invisible?'

'You're healthy as an eohippus!'

"Should've let go of the plane when I told you to."

Arm puncture...