Fans Of Lighthearted Comics Mugs

"The doctor is a little squeamish, so don't mention anything gross."

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"Too much concealer?"

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

'Let's get a kitty.'

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

"Of course homeworking has lots of advantages."

'When I said, throw him out, I didn't mean it literally.'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

Self raising Lazarus.

"So tell me about your last poop."

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

Infant care worker is exhausted from sex injuries at hospital.

Fake News for Fake People

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

"What do you have to do to get business class?"

'I'm done doing inside jobs on the outside. I make more on the inside as an outsider artist.'

Chris Evans

To the Batmobile!

Post Office. Personnel. If we get the job, do we get a letter sweater?

Goldie playing chess. Check.

Lost My Ability To Ruin Picnics. Please Help.

Yeti/Not Yeti

'Listen, I'm flattered, but it's safer for you if we just stay friends...'

'What can we do for you?' - 'I need a song removed from my mind.'

Noah's first venture after the flood.

Thorn in a Lion's Paw

'The bad news is you've got something no one's ever heard of...the good news is we're naming it after you!'

'One good thing about my record is all my crimes have been pardonable.'

'Well... something makes me think that you want a raise, Mr Johansen...'