Fanaticism Critic Pillows

"There can be no peace until they renounce their Rabbit God and accept our Duck God."

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

The commentators want to run the officials...

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

The first microscope capable of seeing the number of angels dancing on the head of a pin.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"When we have COVID under control you'll be rewarded for saving us, we won't forget how much we owe you."

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

"Is there a God?"

'We think, therefore we are a tank.'

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

Bush vs. America

Bartender, there's a human finger in my beer. Today's comics readers are pretty jaded, sir. They're no longer shocked by a fly in a bowl of soup.

God throwing bricks on city

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Obey the Book or be damned!

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

Student Loan Shark

"What can I get you?" "An explanation for that dumb reason why Batman and Superman stopped fighting at the end of Batman v Superman." "Would you like that spoiler-filled or spoiler-free?" "Spoiler-filled would be lovely, please." "Ok. Batman did not stop fighting Superman just because both of their moms were named 'Martha.'" "'Martha' was not just a person. In Batman’s nightmares, 'Martha' had come to represent all that was good about him." "When Superman whispered 'Martha,' it did t

Sucking Up to Gen X

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

"And with the amazing scores of 99.95, may I present Roger and Milly Mallard!"

The simultaneous creation of the Freudian slip and a cartoon cliche..

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."