Fan Of Royal Events Pillows

Meghan Markle at Wimbledon

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"A kingdom? A whole kingdom? All I want is a horse."

Reign Man

Beefeater

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'It creeps me out when he watches the History Channel and takes notes!'

'I don't know. Neo-monarchism sounds good...'

Canute Does It Again

'For added curb appeal, I think you should fill the moat.'

London Gin Company Limited - By Appointment to Queen Mother

"Try some improv, they said. The king will it, they said!"

"Any apologies for absence?"

"The Queen is somewhere in the snuggery!"

'Sorry, sarge! I was trying to get an invite to the wedding!'

Not My Coronation Quiche

Richard III found buried under Leicester car park.

Rasputin - You don't have to be a mad monk to work here but it helps

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

'We got a Christmas card from King Sverdglink of Lithuania -- when did HE get Christianized?'

At last, Paul Burrell finds his diary.

"What sort of Mall is this anyway"

'Well, they sure voted for change THAT time.'

'He threw his back out trying to lift an embargo.'

The Prisoner of Zenda

"Wedding dresses have just shot up all over the realm!"

'I was a private guest at the Royal Wedding last weekend!'

Capitalist Being Paid by Monarch

"You're why I have the moat, Mother."

"I just bought another country - it's cheaper on the net."

Queen Anne

'When you say I made the cut, is that a good thing or a bad thing?'

A royal helps their injured footman carry their palanquin

"Humanitarian aid? -- What fun is that?"

'Okay, you were right -- beanbag thrones are a dumb idea.'