Family Whisperer Pillows

Discussion...1/4 mile. Argument...1/2 mile. Fight...1 mile.

'Henry quickly rose to the top of the Adult to Child Translation world.'

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

"In all the years I’ve endured your presence, I have never once heard you mention your mother." "It’s almost as if you think you sprang fully formed from the bowels of the earth." "When’s the last time you called your mother?" "December 2, 1992." "The day before text messaging was introduced." "Ingrate!!!"

'Don't Worry - They Never Think It'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"Foster failure"

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Same old same old. How about you?"

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

Hush puppy.

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

Mother Nature

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"He's such a fussy eater."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."