Family Trait Explorer Gifts

'You are such a drama queen! Heaven knows where you get that from!'

"Great parents—genetic?"

'Ahhh...'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

OOG & SONS HUNTING & GATHERING

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"Having nannies really changes you."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'He's got your nose.'

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

'Today is my day to baby sit.'

"My dad was really good at showing me how to throw poo. He was just never any good at explaining exactly why I should be throwing it."

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"