Family Story Expert Pillows

"Who called who never calls" "What's in the freezer? It's half a loaf of rye bread" "Fun quiz! When are you getting married? Page 12." "Top ten pieces of furniture to wrap in plastic"

"Feel free to take notes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

Children's Party

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

'Grandpa, what was manufacturing?'

'It's a horror-comedy.'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

Not-so-easy listening...

'If I want to live happily ever after, grandma, do I have to marry a princess?'

"Oh I remember, it was a particularly cold day and your daddy whispered sweet nothings in my ear. It gave me such a warm feeling inside that I knew he was the one!"