Family Roots Explorer T-Shirts

'There's no stigma in being brought up by apes - I was an adopted child too.'

'Humphries from accounts seemed so familiar.'

"That's Yipper. He's the bark on the family tree."

Family DNA

OOG & SONS HUNTING & GATHERING

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

'He's got your nose.'

Well, I'll be...Dutch Elm Disease!

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs (or bases), illustrating genetic inheritance within the family

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

"My dad was really good at showing me how to throw poo. He was just never any good at explaining exactly why I should be throwing it."

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

Man: 'My family tree is infested with termites.'

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

"Do you think he's taking this security blanket thing a bit too seriously?"

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

'Instead of a baby sister, Dear, Daddy and I will give you your choice between kitten or puppy.'

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I might find the colostrum?"

"I sure do have a family. There's my wife's DNA and my kid's DNA."

Man at desk researching through papers.

'Please try to understand...I appreciate all that you have done for me and I love you both very much...But, I must try to find my biological parents.'

'I've traced out family tree back to some lizards in the Mesozoic era.'

"Our ancestors used all the hair genes."

"The sitter's here, honey!"