Family Psychologist T-Shirts

"Don't try to blame this mess on your father!"

Dads outdone by sons be. . .

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"She's been so creative lately."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'The child is very illogical'

"That's not how I sat on you."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'What's play?'

Children's artwork exhibition.

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

"I need to know who started it."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"You're welcome."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."