Family Pet Gifts

"I think he may have progressed beyond just digging holes!!"

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

'Super Dog'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Chasebook

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

Dog History

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

"Fetch! What about a please?"

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

'In the future you will address me as 'Your Royal Highness'.'

Dog on leash not able to reach tree

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

'It all started with them sending me outside to do my 'business'.'