Family Peacemaker Gifts

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

"I thought we agreed not to fight in front of the children."

"No, I can't uninstall your little brother. So, you'll have to get along with him."

"You mihgt have fallen our with Uncle Hamish, but he likes me. He's given me his bag pipes."

"I'm sorry—I never discuss my clients with their mothers."

Kid to sister after breaking vase: 'Please don't tell on me. And if you do, don't tell that I told you not to tell on me.'

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

"Are Mommy and Patty and Kenny mad at Daddy?"

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

Mom prepares a family dinner

"I don't like these video games. They're too violent...too loud...and worst of all, you don't have to use your imagination!"

"Does anybody want some pumpkin pie with their politics?"

'It's true that you didn't ask to be born. If you has the answer would have been 'No'.'

'Would you mind waiting out here awhile? My Mom and Dad are having one of their knock-down drag-out extravaganzas.'

24 Hour Curfew - No Grandchildren under the age of 16.

"How long did your mom make you sit in a corner?"

"Are you going to trust your father's selective memory over mine?"

"Don't interrupt your father while I'm yelling at him!"

"I play this when I'm mad at mom...50 Ways To Leave Your Mother."

"If you ask me, I'd rather return to the pre-covid format of our earlier family Christmas dinners."

"You're a veteran? In which wars did you serve?"

"Just because mummy and daddy are divorcing, it doesn't mean we don't still value you as a significant asset."

"I'm thankful for this intervention."

"All parents fight."

'I'm usually more polite than this, but my mom says there's no pleasing you.'

"Who do you think you are? It's an outrage! I will not stand for that behavior when your elders visit!"

"All right, all right. I swear I won't argue with any of your relatives this Thanksgiving."

"Mom! Jonah's engaging in nation-building again!"

"I'd like to say I'm sorry for leaving you a world full of hatred and war."

Head vs heart

"Once you interfere with our internal struggles, you're on a slippery slope

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Just ignore your father. He has enough pet peeves to open a zoo."

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."