Family-oriented Philosopher T-Shirts

It's a beautiful thing, watching your children grow into mature, responsible adults...

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Coronavirus Impact on Children

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"You're welcome."

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"In the future, son, everyone will be an attorney for fifteen minutes."

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"I don't see how pulling out a piece of fruit from a pie necessarily validates Jack Horner's self-worth."

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'

'No my husband wasn't there for the birth and I was only there 'cos I had to be!'

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son

Baby talk 101 - Whaaaaa! 'This is a good one. It means, 'Until my every need is met, your life will be hell'.'

"I'm not his mom anymore—now I'm his life coach."

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

'Now there's a novel idea - babysitting your own children.'

"I used to be a stay-at-home dad. It was great until I had kids."