Family-oriented Philosopher T-Shirts

It's a beautiful thing, watching your children grow into mature, responsible adults...

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"You're welcome."

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

"We're planning on sending him away to be reared by experts."

"In the future, son, everyone will be an attorney for fifteen minutes."

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"I don't see how pulling out a piece of fruit from a pie necessarily validates Jack Horner's self-worth."

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

'No my husband wasn't there for the birth and I was only there 'cos I had to be!'

Baby talk 101 - Whaaaaa! 'This is a good one. It means, 'Until my every need is met, your life will be hell'.'

"I'm not his mom anymore—now I'm his life coach."

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

'Dad, are we rich?'

"I used to be a stay-at-home dad. It was great until I had kids."