Family Members Who Love Pets Pillows

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Super Dog'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Chasebook

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

'He's not big enough to use the toilet yet.'

'In the future you will address me as 'Your Royal Highness'.'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'It all started with them sending me outside to do my 'business'.'

"Do you think those sounds they make are some primitive attempt to communicate with each other?"

'Go ahead, open it. It's a ball.'

'Why do they call it walking the dog?'

Vet's Waiting Room

'Hello, is that Dugdame and Son's, the plumber?'

Dog on leash not able to reach tree

Sweet dreams induced by screaming cats