Family Member Who Loves Pets Pillows

Cat speaking into mobile phone: 'I'm on the Wheelie Bin!'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"That's where we differ. You'd eat cat food, but I wouldn't touch dog food."

"Don't even think about it."

"Your love gives me strength."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

Dog and family arrive at 'Mount Ruffmore' National Park, instead of Mount Rushmore.

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

But it's the other leg that hurts.

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"You've got athletes foot."

"I just don't get it, they don't do it themselves, so why do they insist on us sitting before crossing the road?"

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

Cat does not want to chase the stick.

"I hate it when he gets all Robin Williamsy."

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

"You're spoiling that dog!"

'In the future you will address me as 'Your Royal Highness'.'

'Why do they call it walking the dog?'

"He's so old I usually let him do what he wants."

'It all started with them sending me outside to do my 'business'.'

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

'Coming through a pet door isn't as easy as it looks.'