Family Member Who Is Expecting T-Shirts

Baby Shower.

Cry babies.

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

Baby in womb chooses from multiple choice pregnancy symptoms...

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

Childbirth and Covid 19

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

Birth canal: Keep clear at all times.

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"You mean my little sister could be a BOY?"

"We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s not annoying."

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

"We offer free delivery if you spend over $15,000."

'And she's got the gall to call me chubby.' - Hubert's comment on a pregnancy.

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

"I recommend an epidural, at least until they're off to school."

Baby Advertising for Milk.

'As long as it's got six fingers and eighteen toes...'