Family Man On Wheels Pillows

Family Sidecar

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Brad Pitt

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

I love my dog!

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

Biker couple with their baby in a side car.

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"Daddy and his boss still like each other. They just don't want to work together anymore."

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

GPS, satellite dish, cell phone...nature awaits. All right, Pop. Nature awaits!

"It's not a bear, sweetie. It's the pizza."

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

It's a Dog's life

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

"The kids have stopped saying 'are we there yet?'"

'We don't do tricks.. because then they'll begin to expect it.'

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

Homemade dog biscuits.

'Vet clinic? I'd like to make an appointment for a physical. It's been seven years.'

Baby Carriers

'Dad, you are wasting your life. Stay home and play with me.'

'My daughter made me a decoy for Father's Day. It would break her heart if I didn't use it.'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

New Dad.

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

'Nest Accessories.'