Family Harmony Advocator T-Shirts

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Relax, grandpa. The quarterback is taking a knee to run out the clock."

Ever wonder why we debated what color fridge to buy?

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

'I know we hadn't planned on getting a bigger car until we had kids, but I think we need one now to accommodate the bumper-stickers.'

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

Workplace bullying.

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.'

'Well General? What is today's inspirational message from your mother?'

Shooting the Dove of Peace

Happy Everything

"It's the old man's idea. Reckons his young executives should see more of their families."

'It's a grueling job that requires a strong commitment and personal sacrifice. Is your mother available?'

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'You told me to put away the groceries.'

"This may surprise you, Worthington, but I'm a man who believes that nothing in life is as important as family."

For the Children

"Well, shall we proceed without everyone sharing their personal thoughts and opinions."

"I'm not going to work late tonight, so I can normalize relations with my family!"

What we need more of. . . Love, World Peace, A Uniting of America. . .

Father and son

"It's come to my attention that the team feels I'm not pulling my own weight."

"I'm not allowed to come out and play. I was being good, but I relapsed."

"Sorry, but my mum doesn't want me to invite friends over: She's kind of ashamed we live in a pigsty..."

'Do you think my husband would have better than a 50-50 chance if you didn't wear your mask up so high?'

'The good news is that I can spend more time with my family. The bad news is my job is now only part time.'

Pet owner to pets in chair: 'We need to come up with some kind of time-sharing system.'

"In my opinion, nothing promotes family harmony like caller I.D."

Peace Escaping From War